Thursday, February 09, 2012

Love is Battering

Who do i blame the feeling that I'm feeling right now? Do i blame it on myself for getting attached to someone and them not latching back to me? Do i blame it on him for not illustrating the amount of love that was displayed when we looked in each others eyes? Maybe i blame it on the time for when we first met and i automatically assumed he was the one. Who do you go to when your heart continues to break in smaller pieces to the point where all the pieces aren't picked up and all you do is brush the broken pieces under the rug. At the end of the day, your heart is still broken and instead of you trying to mend it, you just try to hide the fact that you're missing something important.

Sometimes i still wish i was a young girl that was still a bit naive to love and the heart ship it took to stay in love. When you were young, the only people you ever loved was your parents, siblings, and your favorite teddy bear. Who made it a rule that we had to find a complete stranger, find something we like in them and BAM just fall in love. Who do we blame love on? ... I blame myself.

Why? If i was more focused on school and working, i would not have had the time to find such an intriguing person to take my mind of my schooling and on to them. If i didn't show interest the first time your eyes laid upon mine, you would still be a stranger to me. A stranger that i never would have fallen in love with.

Now that its over, all i can think about is you. love is crazy because it hits you at the oddest moments of your life, wasting moments you could have been using to find Mr. Right. But I'm young and sometimes dumb, and it gets lonely and you become a comfortable asset that i assumed i could rely on. I would be lying if i said i wasn't hurt right now, so i will not say it. I'm not surprised either, its life, this is what life does to you. Life is definitely like a roller coaster, you cant always have the twirls and the fast parts, sometimes you have to go through the motions of the slow part, the boring part, the part every one can see very clear.... that's what I'm going through right now.