Friday, November 16, 2012

Love Thy Self Before You Love Someone Else


This title to me reminds me of the Destiny Child “Writing on the Wall” album, when they had their commandments after every song.

Girls, this title is pretty much self-explanatory, you cannot love someone else when you don’t fully love yourself.

Think about it, if you don’t like what you are doing or like where your life is at right now how can you add another person to that? Adding another person will only make life more difficult because now instead of spending time working on you, you have to spend your time with a significant other that can NEVER get the full you.

First you need to ask yourself simply, are you happy. If you want to lose 100 pounds and become a healthier person but the guy you’re with wants to take you out to eat every night, and cook five course dinners, how could you possibly allow yourself to give that relationship 100%. Some relationships can work but it’s merely impossible because you will start to feel as though he doesn’t take your healthy lifestyle change seriously causing unneeded conflict.

Another example, if you aren’t where you want to be career-wise that means you're willing to do any and everything you can do to get promoted, this means long nights, early morning, traveling, and studying, why would you want to add a guy to this equation. Your main focus is yourself right now. Think about it, have you all ever dated someone who was all about their business? That means they aren’t ready for a relationship yet until they are happy with where they’re at.  Its hard to date a person whose number one focus isn’t you, therefore you need to make sure your main goals in life are complete or underway before you decide to get serious with a person.

One of the biggest problems with females is their decreased value of self worth and their confidence level being low. If you don’t love yourself mentally or physically, how can a guy love you like that? Do you know how uncomfortable a guy gets when his girl says something like “Im fat as hell, im such a whale, don’t you agree?” We have to stop doing that, we all have flaws but as you get older you have to turn your imperfections into your best features. Half the time guys don’t even know that we dislike our chunky legs or our crooked smile. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST and you will be able to love another with all your heart.

I am not studying this in school, but black relationships interest me beyond anything. It took me a long time to fully love myself, I would cry and ask God why, why I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror and why did I act the way I did. But then I realized life goes on, you have to take the bad with the good. Everyone is not made to be Beyonce, and believe it or not, she has flaws as well, but you must learn to embrace them so you can have the room in your heart to embrace a relationship.

I love me, do you?

Xoxo
Ashley