Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Is Being a Black, Educated & Successful Women Dangerous in the Dating World?


Ladies this is one my favorite topics to blog about especially because I am beautiful and educated African American women in the dating world. 

I don’t know if where I’m from has a lot to do with it, but it’s a large amount of successful young women man-less or have a half of a man! What is a half of a man? A half of a man is a guy that is willing to TALK TO YOU FOR YEARS but has no intention of making you all official! You will be going out (seldom), movie nights at his house and then of course sex… BUT NEVER AN OFFICIAL RELATIONSHIP! 

As I was talking to one of my best guy friends he addressed that this is one of our main problems, SEXING before a relationship evolves. Doing this gives the guy the impression that he does not have to work on having you because he has what he was after, your “kitty”. 

And don’t get me wrong, some “talking relationships” are fine, all the amenities of having a man just not the title, some females are content with that; I AM NOT ONE OF THEM.  I’ve been in a few and at the end of the day IT DOES NOT WORK. He has the right to talk to other girls, go to the club and meet other girls, text and see other girls, because FOR ONE, YOU AIN’T HIS GIRL!

Guys will keep the successful and educated women as a side jank, but impregnate and wife up the girls who aren't doing much of anything with their life.  What’s the reason you ask? The higher a female is career and education wise the harder it is finding her a man. Again, why do you ask? Guys are taught at a young age that they are supposed to be the man of the house, the person who brings the bacon home, fix stuff when things are working right, just doing their manly duties, so why would you want a women who can do all those things herself and who never asks for your help. Guys get girls who aren’t doing much with their life because they know they can come and run stuff and feel like “the king that they are.” I AM NOT MAKING THIS STUFF UP YOU GUYS. I am doing my research, I am talking to these males, I am in these “talking relationships”, and I have fell victim of being a side jank! Not only is it hard but it’s sad because we deserve so much more than what we are receiving.

All of our lives we are taught to do something with our lives, go to school, make a nice living, cure HIV, etc., but does that have to mean skip over finding a soul mate because no guy wants a women doing good without the help of a man?

Now while I say this, there are so many MANY many guys that are available who want a strong willing women like us, but we over look them. They’re the guys who are dedicated to their school or work, deeply involved with church, or just simply not always in the spotlight. But for some reason, we are somehow attracted to these flashy swag guys, decreasing the chances of the good guy ever trying to approach us.
If any of you ladies have any advice to these girls (including myself) who want to succeed but also want to have a healthy none-zealous relationship, please post it below. I know too many girls who are risking their college education to be a housewife. I do not want to compromise and jeopardize being at the top by myself just so I can stand BEHIND a man working his way to the top. I was not brought up like that and I know many other girls weren't either.

No one knows how adamant I am about this topic but I know the time will come for someone to sweep us off our feet and treat us like the queens we are, it will happen ladies, keep hope alive lol.

XOXO

-Ashley.